When I was a teenager, all i wanted to do was be in my 20’s, i thought how cool will that be….hmmm.  My dad would tell me to slow down, he’d say, ” work hard now and you can have fun later, ” or “you don’t need to get married until you are in your 30’s.”  I thought he was crazy, but what did I know? I can say that now, ha, all I really knew, was what I knew, whatever that means right? If I could go back, i’d probably smack that kid and say, “listen to them, they know, they’re right, they know!”

I was definitely one of those kids that needed a good butt whooping, and that is exactly what my 20’s were!

I found myself getting by in my 20’s moving toward what i thought was different, but found myself a misguided step child of pop culture. Left in the dark being so ashamed of who i’d become. Good thing that guy Jesus died on that cross so many years ago and never gave up on me, i don’t know where i’d be now without that Love. But, still even after turning my life around, the remainder of my 20’s were spent catching up and trying to financially get out of the shadows set by that past life. Learning how to make better decisions. And relying on others, and most of all Christ- who btw “you can’t even see.” LoL

So, dad was kinda right huh. Now thirty, i am just barely in a career i want to stick with. I have my own place, its small, but its mine. I drive a big truck, that unfortunately i can’t afford. I am still paying for bad decisions though and being thirty sometimes is the hardest part. When i come home sometimes I can’t help but think… “this shouldn’t be a tiny apartment, and my dog, bless his heart, should be a family; a wife and a… little girl who thinks her daddy is superman and…for those of you who like latina’s, a mother-in-law or grandma, lol.

I have a barrel bbq meat smoker in my front yard, i look at every day. I can’t even get myself to light it up, i mean for what? Smoke some meat for bodie? In my front yard?

The hardest part is looking at all of my friends and seeing them married, 4 out of 5 wives are prego. They most all have pretty decent careers, go on family vacations, etc, etc. Here i am, just starting a career, at the bottom working 70 hrs a week at $10/hr. Paying way too much on truck i could live in, and my social life is Facebook and the Hotel i work at.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely happy with where God has me, and I continue to trust Him and work hard. But what i wonder is why? And…how many other men are dealing with this same thing across the country.  For me a common feeling is, that even if I met someone, what do I have to offer, besides spiritual leadership and Love? And really, in todays society, that’s not enough at all, even for Christian woman. And at my age, lets be honest, most already have kids, which is ok i love kids but, that is one more aspect of the situation to think about being “good enough” for.

Truth is, there are thousands of amazing 30 something year old men, dealing with these same feeling every day. My message to them, or you, if this categorizes you, is that you are not alone. You are loved by a great God, he’s always there. And what gets me through is knowing that if I am worth dying for, i must be worth living with, its just going to take that special someone to realize it.  Which leads into you ladies; No one is perfect, but if you do want perfection, check out the life of Jesus- this dude was flawless, saved lives better than superman- and probably had some killer abs too. A man who is modeling his life after His is going to be the closest thing to great that you can ever get. And he may.be. one of those men, who started late and don’t seem to have much now, and he may seem far from perfect. But if he loves unconditionally like the way we are called to, and Loves Jesus. You have to know that this is just a small segment of his life, the hard will pass, and actually you might even be able to be a blessing in that too, great things can happen when we think selflessly.

Till next time…. RockOn-BuonAppetite&OneLove   FoodDude!

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